This won’t be easy for me to write
But there’s something I have to say
Lately our relationship has turned to shite
And it’s time to call it a day
We started out well, you and I
I thought we were solid and strong
But surely even you can’t deny
That things have gone horribly wrong
I know I must share some of the blame
For giving our people a voice
On leaving the EU – it was never my aim
But the morons made the wrong choice
But now you’ve taken things one step too far
There’s no way to try make amends
I don’t mind you seeing other people
But what the hell is this new group of friends?
Clinton, for starters, looks like trouble
There’s something that gives me unease
She’s encased in a poisonous bubble
Of corruption, lies, hatred and sleaze
But that’s nothing compared to old Trumpy
On which planet does that guy reside?
The future is decidedly bumpy
If electing him is what you decide
Nothing useful comes out of his gob
With each speech I truly despair
He’s a horrible, bigoted knob
And what the fuck’s going on with that hair?
His Mexican border construction
And misogyny make me puke
Just think of the worldwide destruction
If the twat gets his hands on a nuke
I actually quite liked Bernie Sanders
Why couldn’t you just stick with him?
I’d prefer you elected Ned Flanders
Over the next Vladimir Putin or ‘Kim’
You’re certain you can’t keep Obama?
Just bend the rules a wee bit?
Surely having Barack in office
Is better than the alternative shit?
I guess if you do have to choose
Then Hillary’s not-quite-as-bad
But are these really the two finest people
From the 300 million you had?
Having said that, our system’s no greater
We didn’t even choose our new head
It doesn’t matter that most people hate her
We’re stuck with Thatcher II instead
I hope that you make the right choice
But even then, I’m afraid it’s farewell
And if do you elect that prick Donald Trump
Then America, please, go to Hell
It was fun while it lasted, I guess
But you clearly don’t give a fuck
So my last message about this whole mess:
Planet Earth – Fingers crossed and good luck.
The United Kingdom