Blog-Blog-Bloggin’ On Heaven’s Door

What if today were my last day?

What if tonight, that was it?

Would I look back on my life fondly?

Or would I sigh and think ‘well, that was shit’?

Because I may live to see treble figures

Or thirty-eight could be my last age

I might have many more chapters

Or this could be my final page


My death may be perfectly normal

Or an occurrence frankly bizarre

I may simply drift off to sleep

Or a plane could crash into my car

I may be hit by a bus in the morning

A roof could collapse on my head

My wife may decide that enough is enough

And smother me as I lie there in bed


I may fall in the back of a bin truck

The dentist could slip with her drill

My soup might be laced with rat poison

Or my drink could be spiked with a pill

I may go in spectacular fashion

When a tiger escapes from the zoo

Or I die all alone just like Elvis

As I push too hard having a poo



I may slip and fall in a mincer

And end up diced into chunks

Or I wade too far in the ocean

And something nasty swims up my trunks

I might be attacked by a pack of wild dogs

I could be sliced into two by some wire

Maybe blown up in a household explosion

Due to a badly installed tumble dryer



I could get lost in the desert and starve

Or trapped up a mountain and freeze

My head might spontaneously combust

As I try to hold in a big sneeze

I may slip while I’m trying to shower

Get discovered all naked and wet

Or choke to death dining al fresco

On a piece of pork pie or baguette

Family having picnic.


I may plummet from a hot air balloon ride

Or fall down the stairs while at home

There may be errors within my genetics

Killed by a shit chromosome

I’d hate to be murdered by seagulls

Finished by thousands of pecks

Although no means of death is ideal

(except perhaps during wild sex)



Look, I don’t intend to be morbid

And I hope I’m around for a while

But I guess what I mean is be happy

And whenever you can try to smile

Because none of us can see the future

And whatever the next day might bring

We can’t predict that last moment

When the fat lady will start to sing


So please make the most of each moment

Look after your family and friends

Don’t wish your time away quickly

And only live for weekends

If you love someone, why not just tell them?

Remember, you’re great and unique

And unless anything terrible happens

I’ll hopefully see you next week


Thanks for reading x